Moony's Insert Title Here
by indescribablyBee
Summary: This whole mess started with a journal? The journal Remus Lupin recieves on his 16th is more troublesome than its worth. Never mind that Sirius keeps finding it...cowritten with Em3191. Possible slash. Rating may change. Read and Review!
1. Chapter 1: Of Journals and Drunks

**E/N: Roses are red violets are purple I own nothing you recognize so please don't sue!**

**B/N: I own Sirius' speech…I don't own the lame, lame poem above either:)**

Chapter 1: Of Journals and Drunks 

January 2nd

Journal,

Do you know how much trouble and teasing you've caused me? I've already had you for a few hours and you're causing trouble. And now I need to give you a name because if I keep calling you journal it will start to get annoying. **Why will it get annoying to call an inanimate object by its proper name Moony? I mean we do it for several other things. And I know what you're thinking but I only had three drops of the smartening solution, not four. So nah-nah-nah-nah-nah! **I'll think of something after this entree.

It all started this morning when James, Sirius, and I were trying to recover from the hangover we acquired for celebrating my sixteenth birthday a little too enthusiastically last night. We had run out of hangover potion we had to use another remedy. **You know Moony I **_**always**_** keep extra hangover potion. I guess that makes me smarter than you. :)** We had to keep all light and loud noises away from my bedroom. And this plan was working out fine until we heard a tapping on the window (which sounded more like a pounding **(very, very loud pounding)**). As I went to the window to get the owl I realized that to do so I'd let light in the room and if I didn't that tapping noise would go on forever. So I threw back the curtains letting the light cascade into the room. As the sunlight infiltrated every corner of the room Sirius dove under my bed yelling "Turn off the sun! Turn off the sun!" which was pretty stupid if you ask me. **It's not my fault that I was asking the impossible! I just have that much faith in your magical ability Moony! **I think the dust bunnies under my bed liked Sirius because when he reemerged he had dust in his hair and all over his pajamas. _**shudder**_** They were **_**everywhere**_** Moony!**

Once the window was open, the owl flew to my desk dropping the parcel and letter on its surface and flew back out the open window. As I finished the letter James came by asking whom it was from. I told him it was a birthday present from Lily. James was a bit jealous that I was in contact with Lily when all he would usually receive was cold remarks from her. I think it upset him quite a bit. **And I think that that was one of the greatest understatements of the century. I mean the size of that hole he put in your wall…you know if you're not going to tell the truth to your **_**diary**_** what are you going to tell the truth to? You don't lie to me right Moony? **_**Puppy dog eyes**_It was Sirius that broke the uncomfortable silence by telling me to just open the present already. As I took the brightly colored paper off the object, you (insert Journal's name here), fell out causing Sirius and James to erupt in laughter. Oh how they kept teasing me that I got a journal. "Moony what are you going to call your new _diary_." "Moony can I borrow your journal when you're done so I can write down some thoughts." After a while the teasing died down and we started talking about other things. **That's what you think. Just wait until you see what we did…**

Honestly, I never thought I'd be writing in a diary… uh, I mean Journal. Who knows? It could be interesting to look back on my thoughts from my sixth year later in life (if I decide to keep you that long). Well I should write Lily thanks for the present and I will try to write again soon. **Me too!!!! You know you love me Moony.**

P.S. I think I'll call you Archimedes it sounds much better than journal. **Archimedes is a lame name. Lamey-lamey-lame. I say you name it Padoony, after both of us. It's a much better name if I do say so myself. Which of course I do. Oooohhhh…pie….**

**E/N:** Hello, Fantastically amazing readers. For this story I write the Remus parts and then send it to Bee for beta and Sirius. Well nothing more to say but please review. So I can rave to Bee about how amazing I am –rolls eyes-. So push the little purple/blue button. :p **Can you not figure out what color it is Em? It's too bad that you're color blind. Heehee.**

**B/N:** Hello, lovely readers. I'm writing the Sirius parts, and beta-ing the story. Any issues with spelling, grammar, etc. can be pm-ed to me through my account (indescribablyBee) or addressed to me in a review and Em will forward them, or seeing as I'm posting it too, then you guys can just complain in a review to me. Now review and tell Em/Me (oooh palindrome) how much you loved the story so that she can rant and rave about how lovely she is to me later:) (PS: I wrote this first so that's why Em rolled her eyes at me. I'm just that fantastic. Heehee.)


	2. Chapter 2: To Hogwarts We Go

**E/N: Anything you recognize I don't own it.**

**B/N: Anything you recognize I do...receives threatening email…or not.**

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**Chapter 2: Over The River And Through The Woods To Hogwarts We Go**

January 7th

Hey Archimedes,

Today is the day we go back to Hogwarts Winter break is over. Now most of us are on the train back. I bet you are wondering why I'm not writing that the guys are still teasing me for keeping a journal? And if you're not you probably are now. **Why would your diary be wondering anything Remmy? It doesn't have a brain silly. And if it does I shall burn it with great ceremony and do a Banishment Dance around the blaze of its destruction. You know I will.** Well, Archimedes the other three are off pranking. Yes I know I'm a prefect and put an end to their pranking but I really wanted to use this time to write. But if they do start teasing me I just need to say something like 'Sirius the dust bunnies really miss you. I think I saw some trying to get into your trunk while we were packing.' He would then look around nervously for the little balls of dust. Prongs would then take the opportunity to say "The 'Great' Sirius Black afraid of dust bunnies." It's pretty amusing and then they quickly forget about the journal they were teasing me about earlier. **I have discovered your plan!! Muahahahaha!!! And for your information exactly seven dust bunnies stow-awayed in my trunk, and I'm now keeping them as pets under my bed. Don't go under there…they might eat you…no lie…**

Speaking of the mutt, how did he find this journal? I hid it and made sure to charm it so only I can accio it. Maybe I am being too predictable in the case of hiding this journal. Great now I sound a bit paranoid. Oh and Sirius if you are reading this now paws off! **Bad pun Moony…bad, bad pun. And you're not being predictable; you're just underestimating the Great Sirius Black.**

Oh… hold on a second someone just walked in.

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_10 minutes later_

That was Lily she came to tell about the prefects meeting we have after dinner when we get back. We talked about what we did during break for a bit. I told her how much I appreciate the journal, and she was pleased. She said this year winter break was better than last year because her sister, Petunia, was away most of the break at her boyfriend's house. From what I heard the boyfriend's name is Vermin or something and he's as nice as her sister. This means he'll encourage Petunia to be even nastier to Lily. **Poor Lily-Billy-fo-Filly. Oooh…new targets!!!!**

Well we should be back at Hogwarts in about thirty minutes. I can't wait until I get back. Hogwarts has become my second home. I can't believe that in a year's time I'll be in my last year. Then I'll be out of school. Attempting to find work will be emotionally draining. What good is being one of the best students in your year if it means I'll never get a decent job for long because of what I am? **I'll give you money Moony! You know I have enough of it. And you'll be living with me anyway, cause Lilykins and Prongsie will be married by then.**

Speaking of my furry little problem it was better than last year; I didn't have the full moon on my birthday again, but it wasn't wonderful either. Oh well Archimedes maybe someone will discover a cure for it or make it more bearable. **Sorry I couldn't come over Moony…you know my mum's a crazy old bat. But I'll be there this summer.**

On a slightly more interesting note, I need to tell dad to stop playing with dangerous muggle and magical chemicals in the basement. I mean that's the reason the dust bunnies act the way they do. **Muggle things made them like that? I'll have to remember to thank your dad…**They never used to follow anyone before the explosion. I hear the guys coming back so I'll stop writing for now, and I think I'll change your name. Archimedes is a name for an owl not a journal. How about until I think of a better name you can be uhh… Bartholomew? **Heehee, Bartholomew. What is your diary, a monk? Poor, poor celibate diary of Moony. And poor, poor celibate Moony.**

Until next time, then. I'll think of a better name I promise. **Like Padoony.**

Remus _AND_

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**B/N:** Okay people. There were 57 hits on this story. 57. And one person put this on story alert. But there were no reviews. None. Zip. Absolutely nada. Now, normally this would drive me up the wall, but Em3191, who is also posting this, got a review. So I've beta-ed and added Sirius for that person, and of course the person who put this on story alert. But I expect a review this time! At least one people! Come on. Even if it's just to say, "omg ths stry sucks!" Seriously I'm that desperate. 

Anyway…hope you liked this chapter! Can't wait to hear from you!

Please review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bee :)

**E/N:** Ok, see what you've done your lack of reviews has reduced poor Bee to begging. So I will ask very, very nicely please review. So my wonderful readers you know what to do.

Em :p


	3. Chapter 3: A Pirate's Life For Me

**E/N: I don't own anything you recognize.**

**B/N: sigh And neither do I unfortunately. Though I wish so thoroughly that I did.**

There are some differences between my chapter and the one Em3191's posting the largest of which are tense changes. She originally wrote this chapter in past tense, but I just personally like the way that it flows in present tense, but I assumed that she liked the flow with past tense, so I let her keep her past tense and I kept my present tense. And I figured I could do that cause we're posting on different accounts.

Also, I know temporarily in the summary it said that this story was not going to be slash. However, I was talking to Em3191 and she said that maybe, possibly I could make it slash, if the story headed in that direction. But it would only be on my account if that is where it went, cause we weren't originally intending to make it slash, and so the original would go on hers. I will of course let you all know if this version does change to slash. I don't mean to get anyone's hopes up by writing this however because honestly I don't know if this story will go in that direction. I just thought I should throw that out there just in case. And I want absolutely no flames later in the story if it does turn slash because I've given you all proper warning as of now. It's not my fault if you refuse to read author's notes.

**And now after the longest author's note in the history of author's notes, I give to you: the next chapter!**

**

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Chapter 3 A Pirate's Life for Me**

January 15

Hi Bartholomew,

Ugh, Sirius is right, I really need to change your name. **Of course I'm right! I always am, Moony. **I promise by the end of this entrée you will have a better name. Anyway, I just finished this killer potions test and I'm going to relax in the dorm.

Approaching dorm 

Well would you look at that…is that water? What's going on did Peter flood the bathroom again?! **Ugh, that was gross. I repressed that. **Wait I hear singing…and it's not Peter! What a relief. Oh Merlin its Sirius. **Hey! I'll have you know I'm an amazing singer!** What is going on in there? What the hell is he singing? What song is there possibly about "really bad eggs?" **Argh, I'll give you one guess matey! **What is he doing in there? Well, gulp I guess the only way to find out is to go in...

Of all the scenarios running through my head what I see in there is not somthing I could ever be prepared for. **Of course not, for I am the great original Padfoot!**

As soon as I open the door water races towards me. I close the door and realize the water goes up to my chest. Looking around the dorm—if you could call it that—I see it's been transformed into what looks like a Pirate Hideout or an ocean. **The Great Ocean of the Dogs, Dust Bunnies, and Werewolves! **Taking another look around I can see something swimming toward me. It seems that Sirius has charmed inflatable muggle pool toys. I can see a shark, a crocodile, and oh, another shark, swimming toward me.

I swear I think I just saw an octopus. **Ocktie!**

And if you don't mind I need to get to my bed…uh ship, and away from this very life-like shark. I made it. Whew. I hear laughter…Sirius! **Me! Of course me, who else?**

"Argh! Looks to me like our other captain has finally showed up!" Sirius says from his ship. **My ship! All mine!**

"How… why…what did you do to our room!?" I splutter.

"I wanted to play pirates." He answers simply with a shrug.

"Argh, Captain Moony, go below deck and change into your Pirate Clothes." Sirius says.

Oh well, if you can't beat 'em join 'em.

I change into my pirate costume, eye patch and all. When I come back above deck I realize Sirius has a similar costume: bandana on his head, a hat with no feather, a tattered coat…and is that James' owl on his shoulder? **Why yes, Moony, it is. **The only difference between Sirius' costume and mine is that I have an eye patch and didn't get a fancy hat. **My fancy, fancy, fancy haaaaaaaaat!**

"Ok Moony, prepare for battle! Argh!." Sirius barks and his crew hops up on deck.

Merlin those dust bunnies definitely got bigger. Some of them actually resemble rabbits now. That's quite disturbing really. **It's not disturbing! They're amazing! And Nib's wife is going to have babies soon too!**

It is really hard to not laugh at Sirius' crew. Seeing dust bunnies in pirate hats, eye patches and peg legs, and sporting inflatable swords is pretty humorous.

Dear Merlin, the dust bunnies are now jabbing the inflatable swords in the air. sigh Trust Sirius to have a mutant bunny crew. **DO NOT DARE TO MOCK THE DUST BUNNY CREW OF THE GREAT CAPTAIN PADFOOT!! DOOM AND DESTRUCTION UPON YOUR SHIP!! DOOM AND DESTRUCTION I SAY!!**

"Ok crew, ready the cannons and fire at Moony!" Sirius commanded as he went to the helm, singing the pirate song that I heard earlier.

I am unable to find my own cannon at the moment. But I did find my limited edition copy of _Hogwarts, A History_ that's been missing for two months.

"Fire!" Sirius shouted and I am bombarded with toilet paper, pillows, and…rubber ducks?! Where did Sirius find his ammunition? **The house elves love Master Sirius. Muahahaha!!**

I finally found a cannon.

Now I can honestly say that I have participated in a full-fledged sea-battle. This is very engrossing, and very enjoyable. **Sea Battle! Hooray**

I look toward the door and see James fighting off a crocodile and Peter being dragged under the water by an octopus. **Ocktie!** I halt the battle quickly, so that we can go over to help them. They climb into their ships and go below deck, change into their costumes, and come back up ready to battle. **Pirate garb, Moony! Not costumes!**

Oh, looks like Peter is attempting to board Sirius' ship. Good God those dust bunnies are brutal. **I have trained them well.**

"Peter get back to you boat if you wish to live!" I yell out.

Uh-oh. A loud ominous crack just echoed through the room. I don't think our dorm ins made to hold this much water….Oh Merlin…

The door bursts open, spilling the water and everything else from our dorm into the common room. We zoom into the common room. Sirius is shooting at everything in sight, now.

Look at those first years run. They must really not like toilet paper, pillows, and rubber ducks. **First years are wimps.**

Oh and the charmed pool toys seem to have found the third years. I hope that girl didn't value her shoes above all possessions.

The battle rages on. The change of scenery merely serving to make the dust bunnies viciously protective of their ship…Hey! That's my chocolate! **Sorry, Moony. I'll buy you more, I promise.**

Gulp It just hit a soaking wet Professor McGonnagal in the face. She looks like she doesn't know whether to laugh or scream. Personally, I hope she'll do the former. **I like it when she screams. It's funny!**

While she decides, let's do a quick survey of the room. Hmm….

Peter is currently tied to the mast on Sirius' ship, and is being held hostage by the dust bunnies. **Yeah crew!** His own ship is being used by those who need safety from the violent pool toys' attacks. Sirius is poised and ready to swing from the Crow's Nest of his ship and onto mine, the rope tight in his hand. **Board, ahoy!** James' ship is rapidly sinking and he is clinging to the mast trying to climb higher, and avoid the octopus on his deck. And I am just about to fire a cannon at Sirius' ship. _**My**_** ship, Moony! How could you! tear I've taught you so well!**

McGonagall's started the lecture now, and she's rapidly turning scarlet and we just all were assigned detentions. Got to go journal we need to de-flood the common room. **How does one de-flood a room, exactly?**

Ahoy Matey,

Remus J. Lupin **and Sirius O. Black…Moony what does the J stand for?**

P.S. Thought of a name—how does Jack sound? **Like you think you're journal is a puppy. Or a drunken pirate. I still vote for Padoony. But of course you won't listen to me now will you? Of course you don't because you don't want to admit that I'm smarter than you! Which I am of course!**

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**B/N:** Reviewing makes me happy! Review! Review! Review! PLEASE!! 

Hope you enjoyed the chapter!

Bee :)


	4. Chapter 4: The Not So Much of a Lady

B/N: Eck…is this really all that important anyway? You all know there is no ownership here…except of course for the amazing plot. ;) 

**E/N**: I don't own Harry Potter Or Lady and the Tramp

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**Chapter 4: The Not So Much of a Lady and A Tramp**

January 30

Dear Carter,

Today we decided to help James with his nonexistent relationship with Lily, because he's driving us mad. Now Sirius and I are stuck thinking up possible date ideas for James if Lily ever says yes. **Which she won't. If she does I vow to eat Peter's disgusting yellow socks with chili on top.** Peter would be helping if he wasn't in the hospital wing suffering from a rather nasty dust bunny wounds to the head and uh… everywhere else.

_Note to self_: _talk to Sirius about the aggression problems his… pets have_. **They are not my pets! They are my loyal and dear friends. And they don't have aggression problems! They were merely feeling protective at the time…and they just don't like Peter. His smell offends them or something. Apparently, dust bunnies don't like rats…**

I'm still in the dorm thinking of ideas, sadly. I have just suggested a picnic at night with lots of candles and stuff. It's very romantic…or so I've heard. **Oooh! Moony's keeping secrets! Spill your furry little guts!** Oh my gosh. Sirius actually just had a good, semi-romantic idea. James is surprised. I can tell because his jaw seems to have dropped several feet. I think I hear the third years complaining…. **You'd think I don't have good ideas all the time, with the way you're acting:)** It was going to the Room of Requirement and having it turn into a beach. He told James to just wing it from there.

Now James is having a mental break down because:

"This is Lily we're talking about and everything has to be perfect!"

He's trying to process how he can incorporate both ideas and its not working.

"Sirius! Why did you hit James?! Is he still conscious?!"

"Well he's calm now… his pacing was making me nervous." Sirius tells me. I just look at him. **Yeah, with your prefect-y look. You know I can't stand up to you when you give me the look full of shudder dare I say it…**_**responsibility.**_** Ugh, Moony! Why'd you make me do it?!** "Okay, fine. I'll wake him."

A bucket of water appears over James and promptly empties itself on him, causing James to wake up and sputter incoherently. **He babbled like a bald monkey in a purple bubble bath!**

We finish planning the date with the help of the Lady and the Tramp (don't ask). **sniff Isn't puppy love the most adorkable-est? tear** The date is to be a romantic candle lit picnic by the lake with spaghetti. **And the meatiest balls you ever did see! Moony! Mind out of the gutter!** Now all James needs to do is ask Lily…and for Lily to say yes, of course.

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_Some other part of the castle_

"You know the plan follow them and make sure everything goes right or else!"

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An hour has passed since James has left to ask Lily out for the 300th time. Sirius and I are playing chess. Two more moves and I think I might win this. 

Argh, Sirius! He just flipped the chessboard over! **Heehee! Nobody beats the great and powerful Padfoot! **And now he's yelling because James is back.

Oh dear. James looks kind of dazed. Did she say yes? I hope so. If she didn't it's my turn to make he doesn't do anything stupid. Here it comes…

"Guys Lily… She said yes! I think I'm dreaming…Ow! Padfoot! Why'd you pinch me?"

"Well you felt that, so no, you're not dreaming." James is beating Sirius with pillow now. I think I'm going to join him. **What is this abuse Sirius day? That's supposed be the fourth Tuesday, of every third week, of every five-and-a-three-quarters-months!**

The date is set for 8pm tonight and James will meet Lily in the Great Hall.

Until then we have to reassure the nervous wreck that, "The date will go fine! Don't worry!" and "No, the giant squid won't be jealous."

I still don't understand that part. **I do! I do! But I won't tell you unless you give me the blue candy!**

8 o'clock sure came faster than I expected. James just left for the Great Hall, carrying flowers for Lily.

Uh-oh. Sirius just pulled out James' Invisibility Cloak. That maniacal smile can't be good. He just covered the both of us and is dragging me off to follow James, despite my fervent protests of:

"Sirius this isn't right!"

And Sirius's favorite:

"We'll get caught, you know. And then James will have our heads." **Well he wasn't really going to have our heads. I mean geez Moony, you are such a drama queen!**

After I conceding that I'm not going to win this battle, I decided to shut up, and see what happens. Okay, I'll admit I want to see if he is going to muck it up. But hey, you can't blame me. I mean this is JAMES POTTER and LILY EVANS that we're talking about. **True Moony. True. But just wait until I tell James…**

This date is going unusually well. Lily doesn't look ready to kill James yet at all!

It's been a little while now, and I'm bored. I'm going to tell Sirius that I think we've invaded their privacy long enough, and we should go back.

I told him. He told me to just shut up and live a little. I give up. **I told you Moony, the great and powerful Padfoot never loses!**

Lily and James are finishing up their dinner and now they're doing that spaghetti thing from Lady and the Tramp. I can't believe that Lily is willing to kiss James on the first date since just yesterday she was yelling that she hated him.

And what? Oh my…Oh no…Oh ew!

Oh Merlin I think I'm gonna be sick!

Sirius stop laughing! **I couldn't help it! I…chuckle…can't…chuckle…help…chuckle…it…chuckle…now!**

Let me explain what just happened:

It started with the spaghetti they were sharing…** That one accursed piece of spaghetti! Oh why have you wronged the fair Marauder that is Prongs dear, dear pasta! Oh well. I know what I'm having for lunch later!**

Once their lips met Lily morphed into Snape.

So James has been on a date with Snape this whole time. And…and now… he's…oh I don't know if I can bear to write it! Ahem. Sorry, channeled Sirius for a bit there.

Anyway…. James just kissed Snape.

Of course, now James has realized this fact, and just jumped back. He's screaming now. Actually, they're both screaming. My, what powerful screams they have…** And high-pitched. A great deal high-pitched. Like a girl's almost…except that would be demeaning to girls everywhere.**

James is trying to put as much distance between himself and Snape, now. But he's not watching where he's going. Oh! Yup, he's in the lake now.

Sirius has now entered into what I like to call "The State of Uncontrollable Laughter." **Cool! I get a neat clinical name for my chuckle fits!**

Oh he's over it now.

He's telling me I owe him four galleons. Apparently he won the bet because Snape was clearly Imperius-ed and Polyjuiced.

I stare at him for a few minutes before handing over the money. **Yeah! Money, money, money, money, rocking everywhere! In my hair, in my stare, and even over there!**

And now, I'm off to fish James out of the lake before he drowns himself.

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_Some where in the Forbidden Forest_

"Now we can fully initiate you to our ranks Severus." A voice states before walking off leaving the slightly green victim of the initiation prank alone, angry, and humiliated.

* * *

Sirius and I are now dragging a sopping wet James Potter back to the Common Room. I think James is starting to feel a little better actually. He hasn't tried to throw himself out of any of the windows on the way up here. Although there was that staircase incident…**that was funny. Next time, let's just let him jump…**

Uh-oh. We just walked through the portrait whole and Lily's sitting in the Common Room reading.

Sirius just collapsed to the floor. He's laughing and pointing now. **Can't…breathe…from…laughter…. hahahahahahhahaha! (And I'm just remembering the incident.)**

And James is…whimpering in the sight of Lily now. And yes you heard me right. The great James Potter is whimpering. Oh and he's off like a shot!

And who's left to explain the entire situation to Lily, why none other than Remus J. Lupin of course. Sometimes I wonder why I'm friends with such lunatics. **Hey! We're not lunatics on It-Is-Illegal-To-Be-A-Lunatic-And-Not-Wear-A-Straight-Jacket-Day! Just every other day of the year…**

It's taking longer to explain to her than I expected, because someone couldn't control his laughter. **Moony you know I have control issues! And laughter isn't meant to be contained! It's meant to be free, and I was merely insuring that freedom. **

And now we're finished. Lily looks a bit angry…and now shocked…and now…is that pity I see?

And she's off like a shot for the Boy's Dorm!

And I'm back underneath the Cloak with Sirius. Never mind just walking up to our room. No, we have to sneak. **You know you love it Moony!**

She is opening the door and looking around a bit. James is just coming out of the bathroom, brushing his teeth furiously, and her eyes land on him immediately. He sees her and takes a frightened step back, making her laugh.

At this point, I decide that we should leave and give them some privacy, but Sirius, unfortunately, does not agree.

He stepped on my foot and is mouthing to me, "We're staying!" **Cause I'm the leader and you must follow me! Follow the great and powerful Padfoot! He is the leader of all things!**

So I guess we're staying.

Lily and James are talking about Hogsmeade now. James still has toothpaste all around his mouth. Lily keeps looking at it and giggling. I think James thinks that it's his good jokes or something. **I like his jokes.**

They've finished talking. Lily just got up to leave, and is now…hugging James? Yes, she just hugged James, and ran out the door, turning bright red. **I'm flabbergasted. I'm flabbergasted that I even know a word like flabbergasted. Now I'm just being bombastic. Ah! Moony make the intellect stop! Oh, blue candy!**

James looks around the room dreamily. He has a goofy, toothpaste-rimmed smile on his face, and looks reflectively ecstatic. He's whispering to himself now. All I can make out is, "She…actually…like me…friends…"

Figuring out that the entertainment is over, Sirius turns to leave. Unfortunately, he trips on an edge of the cloak and sends us sprawling across the dorm room floor. **I'm sorry I'm clumsy Moony. But I tripped over your big feet. :)**

Our cover is officially blown.

Now we're trying to come up with ideas for James's "real" date with Lily. I knew this would happen…

Well, James has just gone to bed, and I'm going to follow his lead (for once) and turn in too. Next entree you'll probably have a new name. Don't be surprised. **I know I won't be:)**

TTFN.

Remus **and Sirius the Leader **

PS: Sirius! Stop writing in here! And stop stealing my Jolly Ranchers! **But they turn my tongue blue Moony!** I don't care! If you want some get your own! **I am. Through you! **Grr. **Aw, Moonster you know I love you. **

**Now hand over the candy.**

**PPS: Padoony is the single best name on this planet! wink wink**

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B/N: It's a magic button. THE magic button in fact. When you press it, a little box comes up, and you can type things like "I loved it!" and "You Suck!" there. Isn't if fantastic? Of course it is. So push it and leave a review, you know you want too…

Love yah!

B:)


	5. Chapter 5: Planning A Ball

**B/N: WARNING THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MUCHO BAD LANGUAGE. ANY AND ALL CURSING IS MY FAULT AND MY RESPONSIBILITY! BECAUSE I AM AWESOME! AND I AM ALSO A SHIT BETA AND I APOLOGIZE PROFUSELY FOR NOT BETA-ING THIS CHAPTER ON CHRISTMAS EVE WHEN IT WAS SENT TO ME! I KNOW I SUCK ASS, BUT HERE'S THE NEXT INSTALLMENT. ARE YOU READY? FUCK YEAH YOU ARE!! :)**

**E/N: Any thing you recognize not mine I tried to stick with some 70's music but couldn't resist throwing some other bands in there.**

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**Chapter 5: Planning to Have a Ball**

February 1st

Dear Dionysus,

Did I mention we're having a Valentine's Day Ball? Lily and I got stuck with decorations and music. As prefects, it is "our duty to the school to make this experience the best it can be." **Your duty stinks.** Bloody Perkins. Big-head boy more like. **That is so two decades ago Moony. Come up with some new material.** Did I also mention I absolutely hate the Valentine's Day Ball?

Lily, unfortunately, is over the moon about it. She's volunteered to take decorations. I'm in charge of music. I'm also in charge of helping her with menial labor, and have to "recruit anyone else who you feel is up to the challenge." Mariah's just as bad. Big-head girl. It's a wonder their egos don't crush each other actually…I suppose I could get James and Sirius to help. **Fuck yeah I can help! Because I'm STRONG and MANLY and…look! A kitty!**

I have to go back to the Tower now, and can't write while I walk, unfortunately. I should look for a spell to fix that…

* * *

_6th year Boys' Dormitory_

Music, music, music. What type of music should we have at the ball? Live music? That means I'd have to find a band… Will the students even want live music? **Ponder, ponder, ponder…**

Maybe I'll just find a DJ. Then I won't need to worry about what the students' want, cause they can just request it! And there can be karaoke or something. Yeah, mix Muggle and Wizard rock. **Yeah for inter-cultural stuffing!** I should probably go find Lily and let her know what I've decided…

* * *

_Six minutes later_

I found a great new spell to record conversations and descriptions of people and stuff, and I think I'm going to try it out for my conversation with Lily. **I thought I was your lab dog! MOOOOONNNYYY!! You don't love me enough to rest out funs spells on me anymore, do you!?**

Ready? Of course you are.

"Writus Freeus." Remus said putting his wand away. "Cool."

* * *

_Library with Lily_

"Great idea Remus! I have all I need for decorations, I think, and I've got most of the work and setup all scheduled and everything too. I'm so excited!"

"All I need to do is get a DJ and put together a basic song list, and the DJ can do the rest, so I can help you out with decorating, and whatnot." **WHATNOT! Yes! I win the bet! You said it! You said it! Hand over the blue candies biatch!**

"We should be all set then. We have everything, well, except for dates. Do you have anyone in mind Remus? **Nosy, nosy, Lily.** If not, I know quite a few girls who would love a date with the elusive Mr. Lupin."

"Well…I don't really have anyone in mind. I, uh, think I'm going to fly solo on this one. Hang out with Sirius." Remus smiled mischievously. "Speaking of dates, who are you going with Ms. Evans?" **Nosy, nosy Moony. Haven't I taught you better?**

"No one yet. I haven't been asked." **Psht, yeah, cause James threatened off everyone else with a castration hex if they come anywhere near her.**

"Well if you wanted, there's this messy-haired Gryffindor that would be honored and ecstatic to be your date, even if you only went as friends." **You better be talking about James.**

"I don't know Remus. I mean we're finally getting along. We haven't been at each other's throats in a while, and I like not fighting with him. I'm getting used to him being a nice person, and want him asking me out every five minutes again." **Too bad. We could start up the tally again. Ah, good times, good times.** "I know it sounds horrible but I just want to see if I can handle being his friend, before anything else." Lily sighed.

"Okay Lily, but he's just happy you're talking to him. He thinks that you'll want to go with him as a friend if he asks you."

"SUEERF SUTIRW."

We are sitting in silence. It's awkward. Oh, wait, Lily's leaving. I'm going back to the dorm, then.

* * *

_6__th__ Year Boys' Dormitory_

Sirius is hanging off his bed, upside down, talking to his dust bunnies. He's really starting to worry me. And those dust bunnies seem awfully organized… **They've decided to go to war against Peter's socks. I'm so proud. Though I probably should have warned Peter…** Peter is asleep in his Transfiguration homework, again. James is in the loo.

Sirius is looking up at me, now. He smiles when I see him.

"Moonykins! You're back!" I wince at the accursed nickname Sirius has bestowed upon me. **Good description! I love the creativity, Moonykins. :) 8.5 my friend.**

"How is the lovely Miss Evans today?" James has just walked into the room. He is looking at me expectantly, now.

"Lily is fine. She can't wait for the ball. Oh, and Prongs, she doesn't have a date yet." I wonder why I feel the need to constantly throw him a bone like this. **Is that where my bones keep disappearing?? Fuck Moony, I need those! :)**

"Really!?" James sounds very surprised.

"Yeah. She was even telling me that she'd love to go with you as friends, as long as you didn't go back to acting like a total big-headed prick." **Aaahhhh!! Bad pun! Such a bad pun!! My eyes are BLEEDING from that BAD FUCKING PUN! Oh crap. AND NOW I'M A PART OF IT MOONY! HOW COULD YOU!!**

James looks excessively excited. I think his brains about to short circuit.

"Well, I just need to prove to her that I won't be a prat! Should I ask her to the ball as more than friends? That way I can dance with her all night? Or maybe just friends, cause she'll be able to see that I'm trying? But if she says no…Oh my gosh. She could show up with the giant squid, again!" **Brain Overload! I'm surprised he didn't try to jump out the window again.**

"Prongs, you're not making sense! Not that you ever do, but shit man, really. Just go ask Lily flower to the dance. That way you won't be plotting the death of the poor bloke who does. 'Cause we all know how easily you get jealous." Sirius sang that last line, I swear. James'll take the bait though.

"I do not get jealous easily!" Ah, denial. How lovely. James is scowling so furiously I'm surprised his face hasn't fallen off. **Why the fuck would his face fall off?**

"Oh, really? Are you sure about that James? So Remus," I'm looking at him curiously. I can't help it. **I am irresistible.** "How's you're wall doing? Still a gaping hole there?" Sirius is smirking quite evilly now.

"Shut up Sirius." James is bright red. "I'm really sorry Moony. I can fix it, if it's still there."

"It's fine James. The wall is fixed, but I agree with Sirius. Ask Lily to go with you to the dance. But hurry before anyone else asks her." Sirius and James are smiling kind of ferociously now. I just don't want to know. **That's probably for the best Moony.**

* * *

_Meeting with Lily __**(For some reason Sirius and James have decided to tag along)**_

"Hi Remus, are you ready to finish planning? Oh, Sirius, James, what are you two doing here?" Lily looks majorly confused.

"We're here to help good ol'Remmie pick out some more music and to help you both out, if you need us." Sirius is smiling again. **Why do you feel the need to point out when I'm smiling ****every time**** I'm smiling? You have frownaphobia don't you? I'll just have to smile all the time to help you deal with it then. :)**

Lily looks majorly suspicious. Not that I blame her of course… She's got her eyebrows raised as if to say 'no really what are you doing here?'

"Really Lily, we want to help. We're bored, there's no quidditch today, and Remus already has to plan the ball. Plus, we can't seem to find Peter… Anyway, we'll seriously," I groan at James' pun. Sirius laughs. "Attempt to help the best we can. Please let us stay." James finishes. **You could almost see the pout on his face. Rather pathetic really.**

"Fine, but you better actually do something productive." Lily doesn't seem all that reluctant to let us help. Sirius's grin is getting wider, and wider though. **Frownaphobia!** I wonder what he's planning…

"I call Moony!" Sirius just pulled me off to the other side of the library. The look on James and Lily's faces were funny, though. I guess that almost makes up for smashing me into the bookcase…

Lily and James are currently doing Merlin knows what, **that was my plan!** on the other side of the library, while Sirius is currently dancing and naming off random bands that "absolutely _have to_ be on the list."

Our final list is something like this: The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Raging Hippogriffs, The Pixies in Heat, Aerosmith, and the Beaters. And of course the DJ will bring more. Now to actually hire a DJ…the budget isn't that big, but since Lily isn't spending a lot we could probably splurge a bit.

To the auditions!

But first, or course, Sirius has decided to spy on Lily and James. I'm tagging along for…moral support. **Lying to inanimate objects again Moony? Shame, shame. I thought we were over this…**

Lily and James seemed to be talking casually, but both were very tense, and seemed excessively nervous.

"I don't know. I was thinking about asking this one girl, but I, uh, I might just go single."

"Really?" Lily looks a bit…upset. Whoa. **Whoa.** "You should ask her James. I'm, er, I'm sure she'll say yes." Lily's biting her lip, looking at Prongs. Don't screw up, don't screw up, don't screw up please!

"Okay…well, um…Lily, do you think you'd, er, want to go to the ball…with me?"

"Um…sure James. I'd be happy to go with you." Lily's quite pink, now. But it can't be that embarrassing to say yes to someone you've rejected for years…

"Oh, I understand. I can go ask somebody—wait. Did you just say yes?!" James jaw is on the floor. He is quite shocked, really. **And the award for understatement of the century goes too… :)**

"Yes, but, um, we can go as friends right?" James was not at all deterred.

"Of course! Thanks Lily!" He kissed her on the cheek, and now she's a tomato. "I have to go tell the guys." James just disappeared behind a bookshelf and I'm pretty sure I heard a whoop, too.

I just hope he doesn't try to bring out the Firewhiskey later. I mean really, it's not as if she said she'd marry him. **Yeah it is. Potter charm and all that. She's toast. They'll be married within the week.**

I have to go find a DJ with Padfoot now. He seems awfully excited. **Yeah! We're off to find a DJ! A wonderful DJ named Hans!**

Sincerely,

Remus **and Sirius the Great**

PS: I don't think I want to name you after the god of wine, and partying. Sirius is sure to be much too childish about it. **WHAT! I am not childish! Just for that I'm going to pound your pillow into mush! I'm going to melt your chocolate supply! I'm going to make your bed into a fondue pit, and my and my dust bunny friends will do the Macarena around it, you—you stinky-head!**

Anyway, I think I'll change your name for next entry. It'll be something good, don't worry…not that you would anyway, seeing as you're an inanimate object, and I'm just going to end this now…

**PPS: subliminal messaging: Padoony, Padoony, Padoony, Padoony, Padoony, Padoony, Padoony, Padoony. You want to name your diary…ahem I mean journal…Padoony! :)**

* * *

**B/N: Yes! It's finally out! Now Em can start harassing me about the next chapter. :) Anyway, this was officially finished on Wednesday and is just over 7 pages long. I'll finish beta-ing Em's version and then I'll send it off and it should be up by SATurday, a.k.a. SAT day (for me anyway). If not then it won't be til a weekday cause we've got the boozle on Sunday. Love you all and review please, and you can all tell me how much of a shit beta I am. :) Oh and of course that you adored the cursing. I curse a lot in real life, so be prepared. :) Love you all (mostly)!**

**Oh, and yeah, like I said above, I'm responsible for all cursing, dirty language, naughty puns, and offensive material in this chapter, so if you have an issue, harass me not her. :)**

**E/N: Hello sorry for the long wait for this chapter. The next chapter is in progress I'll be sending it to Bee soon and start harassing her about it. So read and review amazing readers.**


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